9 months with henry grant

You spent nine months growing inside mama and today marks nine months you’ve been growing earth side. 

I marvel at the fact that your dad and I created you. That I birthed you and brought you into this world. I don’t think it will ever cease to amaze me. 

You’re not the tiny baby we brought home nine months ago. You’re getting bigger every day wearing 9 month clothes and 18-24 months shoes. You’ve got big some big feet kiddo.

if senior year were a mix CD, tracks 1-4


I don't want another pretty face 
I don't want just anyone to hold 
I don't want my love to go to waste 
I want you and your beautiful soul 

You're the one I wanna chase 
You're the one I wanna hold 
I won't let another minute go to waste 
I want you and your beautiful soul 
Your beautiful soul, yeah... 

Jesse McCartney’s one-hit-wonder Beautiful Soul fades into the crisp, Pacific Northwest air as the clock in Keely’s Mercedes station wagon clicks over to 12:05pm. Lunch is almost over. Time to pack up our peanut butter sandwich scraps and head to class.

8 months with henry grant

Eight months sounds like a long time ago, and yet somehow, you're already that old. You’re still a baby but I know that soon we’ll blink and you’ll suddenly be a toddler. You’re sitting up on your own more and scooting all day long. Today you’ve done several push-ups and I can tell your legs will follow suit soon. 

Over the past two months your eating has dramatically improved. We no longer dread feeding time and you’re getting closer to the fifth percentile for weight! Without fail, every time we give you your first bite of solid food you get this highly skeptical look on your face like you’re just sure it’s going to taste awful. 

You have a nose like daddy and get stuffed up easily. You HATE having your boogers sucked out and scream so loud our ears hurt afterwards. You’re wearing 6-9 month and 6-12 month size clothes. Baby Gap and Carter’s seem to fit you the best. Mommy loves getting you dressed up for church and thrifting clothes for you at Other Mothers.

a wish for my son on election day

I want my son to honor and respect women. 

I want him to see beyond a two-party political system and truly evaluate candidates on their values and what they stand for. 

I want him to live in a country where all lives and relationships are valued and respected. 

I want him to live in a world where racism and white supremacy no longer wield their ugly heads. 

I want him to live in a country where someone’s ability to pay does not dictate their access to healthcare, housing, and other essential human needs. 

choosing gratitude over the if only's

If only I didn’t need sleep 
If only we didn’t need my income 
If only we could afford help 
If only I didn’t need to work 
If only your brothers could be with us 
If only Grammy was still here 
If only it was easy to eat healthy 
If only there were more hours in the day 
If only, if only, if only... 

coming to terms with my breastfeeding journey as a first time mom

This week is World Breastfeeding Week. And while breastfeeding is a truly wonderful, beautiful thing, I really wish “fed is best” would permanently replace “breast is best”. Feeding a baby is hard work. It doesn’t matter if you’re feeding them breast milk, formula, or a combination of the two. And the pressure put on moms to only feed their babies directly from the breast is very, very real. 

Before I had Henry I wish I’d known that exclusively pumping is breastfeeding too. That as his mom I don’t deserve to be shamed by choosing what will work best for me, for him, and for our family. The opinion of a lactation consultant who doesn’t know us or our journey shouldn’t matter. 

The nursing portion of my breastfeeding journey was difficult and short. Henry was SGA (small for gestational age) at birth and spent three days in the NICU. Our first attempt at nursing shortly after birth was unsuccessful. His tiny head and my much larger than average boobs with slightly inverted nipples made latching impossible even with a nipple shield.