navigating infertility and the journey to growing our family

Tomorrow we’re taking a big step on our journey to grow our family. It will be our first attempt at IUI. This past month I've been stressed and nervous working to get to this point. But now I feel full of hope and excitement. I know we’re getting closer to meeting our future baby.

This journey to grow our family has been much longer and filled with road bumps that I never anticipated. I thought we’d get pregnant within the first year of being married. Isn’t that what happens when you don’t use birth control and don't have a family history of infertility?

One of the last texts I have saved from my mom is her comforting me after taking another negative pregnancy test. I've peed on countless sticks all with the same result--no baby in my belly. To better prepare by body and future baby, I spent a year transitioning my antidepressants to a safer medication. Last summer we got the thumbs up from my doctor to start seriously trying and then two months later mom died.

This spring I went to a new OBGYN to make sure everything was ok. My exam and blood work came back normal aside from having a Vitamin D deficiency (which turns out is super common). She told me that we should keep trying and if I wasn’t pregnant within the next 6 months to go see a fertility specialist.

It was positive news but I was still frustrated. After trying for over two years without success, Dale and I were both tired of wondering if something was wrong. We decided after our trip to Seattle in July we'd take the next steps in getting help.

At the beginning of August I finally got the courage to make an appointment at The Fertility Center of New Mexico. I called on a Friday afternoon and we went to our first appointment the following Monday. That same day I got diagnosed with PCOS and this next phase of our infertility journey took off at lightning speed.

Last month was full of blood work, ultrasounds, new medications, and ovulation tests. I've been in a "trying to make a baby" fog ever since that first appointment. Information overload is a real thing. Dale and I have been working hard to support each other so we could get to this point.

On Sunday we had a family fast that IUI will work and I’ll be able to carry and deliver a healthy baby. I received a priesthood blessing from Dale and a member of our bishopric. Righteous desires don’t necessarily come easy. I’m not perfect but I’m doing everything I know how to help us grow our family. I’m asking for help and being vulnerable. I have faith the Lord will make up the difference.

Baby Earl, no matter when you decide to come, know that you are already more loved and wanted than I can ever express. Now go tell Grammy that it’s time for you to leave heaven and come to earth!

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