grief day 98

At my therapy session last week, we focused solely on the passing of my mom and the grieving process that's followed.

About midway through the session I started to breakdown and cry as I relived the harrowing hours we spent in the ICU. Immediately, I tried to stop and quickly brush away the emotions I was feeling. My therapist forced me (in a good way) to sit with it instead.

It was only a minute or two that I lost my composure. But honestly, it sucked. I hated it. I'm usually good at feeling my emotions and processing things but not this. I don't want to feel my mom's death or this new normal I'm living. That makes it real. And I don't want it to be real.